The Constant Gardener
Those who are familiar with The Meath will be used to seeing many of the people we support around The Meath site. While Chris is often seen out playing football on the front lawn, Mel and Regan will likely be in their usual spot, chatting over coffee at The Hive. The chances are that, meanwhile, Michael will be busy, quietly gardening on the patio outside his home at Bradbury Wing.
Michael is a lifelong keen gardener and, having lived at Bradbury Wing since 2008, has enjoyed tending to the patio area with a cup of tea on the go, over many years. His preferred gardening area is easily accessible to him in his wheelchair. The area also benefits from raised beds, handy surfaces for his cup of tea, and lots of people coming and going to chat to. Having chatted to Michael briefly during his gardening, he let us know that he would like to share his memories and thoughts with Meath supporters.
Sitting down over a cappuccino with his sister Kate, Michael seemed very prepared and ready to share his story. At the age of four, Michael sustained traumatic brain injuries in a road traffic accident and was in hospital for some months before returning home to his family – his Mum and Dad (Marion and Bill) and sister Kate.
He was keen to share his incredibly vivid and detailed childhood memories.
“I remember my first school in Banstead. I was five years old, and my teacher hurt my hand with a ruler.”
Although in those days, the mid-1960s, teachers were allowed to smack pupils – something that these days is deeply shocking – it is incredibly difficult to understand what exactly was going through his teacher’s mind at the time, bearing in mind Michael’s challenges. To this day, Michael is unsure about the unintended misdemeanor he assumes he must have made. Michael is such a carefully polite and considerate person that it seems likely that the teacher may well have simply been frustrated with the amount of time it may have taken him to process a question. To this day, Michael possesses a strong, good-natured and thoughtful character, and is slowly and gently paced.
Thankfully, Michael and Kate recalled another school setting, which he attended from the age of 11, Ingfield Manor School, Billingshurst, as being extremely well set up to support and understand Michael’s needs. Kate explained that:
“It was a specialist school for children with neurological motor impairments. There was lots of physiotherapy and it was a wonderfully nurturing environment for Michael where he came on in leaps and bounds. To this day it’s still running and is an inspirational place.”
Michael also shared his happy reminiscences of his childhood home life, recalling all the dogs he and his family owned, plus their horses:
“I used to ride, and I had a horse called Ben. I remember that I used to help my Dad do the gardening – my job was always to mow the lawn. I also remember helping my mother with her posting at her office.”
Kate explained that their mother, Marion, was publisher of PONY and Horse&Rider Magazines, and Michael was always pleased to help her in school holidays by packing up, and preparing for postage, the subscription magazines.
He later moved to a residential community based in Kent, where he spent his 20s, before moving to what was at the time The National Society for Epilepsy at Chalfont St Peter (now known as The Chalfont Centre for Epilepsy, part of the National Epilepsy Society).
Moving to Chalfont St Peter meant that Michel was benefitting from specialist epilepsy care at his residential setting. However, Michael’s family lived in Haslemere, Surrey, and when the opportunity to take up a place at the nearby Meath Epilepsy Charity arose, Michael and his family took it – and were thrilled to see Michael settle in so quickly and happily.
A New Home at The Meath Epilepsy Charity
The Meath provided the specialist epilepsy care and knowledge that Michael needed, plenty of activities to keep him busy, while also being closer to his family home. The sociable setting of the newly built Bradbury Wing, combined with the grounds and gardens, provided a wonderful new home for Michael.
Some 18 years later, Michael still enjoys tending the Bradbury Wing patio garden. To this day, Michael is very keen to help others, and doing so adds to his sense of purpose and wellbeing. He explained:
“I have a rake to pick up leaves, and I help the gardeners.”
Many of his other interests also echo the things he enjoyed during his childhood. Michael explained that spending time with the visiting donkeys is important to him:
“Stroking the donkeys makes me feel happy. They feel so soft.”
Michael also possesses a fierce determination to keep himself mentally active. At the onsite Skills Centre, he particularly enjoys woodwork sessions, but in his spare time with his 1:1 support worker Pauline, he enjoys making lists, writing notes and completing maths problems in his workbooks. A browse through Michael’s workbook shows lists of items categorised, no doubt over lots of teatime conversations and neatly written out arithmetic, interspersed with accounts of his childhood.
It seems that Michael enjoys many things. While he is happy to converse on an array or topics, or try different activities, he needs an environment and for the people supporting him, to enable him to engage, process and communicate at his own pace. Having 1:1 support provides Michael with some valuable time in which to explore, converse or reminisce about things at his own pace. Michael’s 1:1 Support Worker Pauline commented,
“I enjoy supporting Michael to pursue his various interests and utilise his skills. He enjoys stamp collecting, maths problems and word games and often we work together on these types of activity at a café in town. Michael enjoys the change of scene and is a Cappuccino fan! He also enjoys being outdoors, for long distances or any length of time, Michael is a wheelchair user but I support him to take short walks in The Meath garden using his frame.”
Pauline is part of the 24/7 team of Support Workers at Bradbury Wing who are proud to support Michael and his peers to live as safely and as independently as possible.
Likewise, support from visiting friend Stephen and from his sister Kate, who visits him frequently, is clearly very important to him. He also enjoys going to Kate’s nearby home, where he loves to play Scalextric with her husband Nick.
Kate is able to support Michael at the weekly Woodwork sessions, and commented:
“Michael really enjoys attending Woodwork and gets great satisfaction from making things. There is a gentle atmosphere in these sessions, where people have the time to listen to him, so there is a strong sociable and social element to this.
It’s also such a positive that Michael can make use of the lovely, peaceful grounds, while also being so close to the town centre. He often enjoys trips to the local shops and cafes.”
Michael explained that he felt happy to share some of his thoughts and memories, along with his list of things that make him feel well and happy:
- My medication, without it I would be unwell, and I would have seizures.
- Listening to my guided meditation in my bedroom – my cousin David recorded it for me.
- My friends and being able to help my friends.
- My staff, I really like them.
- Going to woodwork
- Doing my gardening
- Writing shopping lists and sums with my 1:1 support worker Pauline
- Visits from the donkeys
The Meath is a busy and sociable community, it is home to an eclectic array of different ages, walks of life, interests, care needs and communication styles. It is wonderful that together, our diverse community of the people we support, staff and volunteers work together to learn from and support each other. Every member of The Meath community has something that we can all learn from. Michael’s quiet, slow but constant stoicism speaks much louder than one might at first expect.
